Privacy policy

Right. here goes. Not very exciting this bit, but it’s one of those must-haves. So, without further ‘a-do’… we hope you’ve got a cuppa and you’re sitting comfortably…

This Privacy Notice keeps you in the know about the types of personal information we (The Escape) collect through our website, and how we use, share and protect that information from aliens from outer space. Oh… and aliens from this planet too. There’s quite a few so we’ve heard, and they can be nasty little b*ggers.

To what this Privacy Notice applies… (in our posh voice)

This Privacy Notice applies to the personal information we collect on this site (at and not to any information that we collect through what we do or how we do it, including websites owned or operated by our affiliates, vendors or partners (most of our husbands and wives don’t have websites… so you’re safe). Any info we gather by headlock, men in dark glasses or after a few too many vinos doesn’t count either. When it comes to the latter, chances are we won’t remember it anyway.

The info you (very kindly) share with us

Every now and then you may feel the need to share some of your personals (oo-er!) with us. You may be saying hello, dropping us a line or applying for a job. When this happens, there’s a very good chance we’ll collect and store a few of those ‘nuggets of detail’ you decide to share about yourself. Personal stuff you may wish to ‘share with the group’ might include your name, email address, telephone number, and your inside leg measurements. Other than your inside leg measurements, we’ll use the information you give us to respond to your request (or question) or to process your job application (if you’re any good). We may also use the information to ‘say hello’ back and share with you a few juicy morsels of what we’ve been up to (and other topics) that we think may be of interest to you.

Information our robots collect

We want you to enjoy spending time on our site, as well finding it useful, interesting and informative (just ignore Johns profile page and you’ll be fine). To make sure this magic happens, we collect little bits of information by… technical jargon bit here… ‘automated means’, when you visit our site. Things such as your IP address, the type of internet browser you are using, operating system, referring URLs, information on where you’ve looked and what you’ve done (on our site). We also keep tabs on how many users visited our site and the dates and times of those visits (very Big Brother!). By collecting this info we learn how best to tailor our website so it stays relevant to you, our visitors. And it’s all because we love you. No really, we do. Without you… we’re a little bit ‘up the river without a paddle’… (aka… b*ggered!).

We have a few (not so) ‘weird and wonderful’ ways of collecting this info, and here it comes…

Mmmmm… cookies

Cookies are lovely. Milk Choc-chip, Triple Choc, Oat and Raisin. we’re partial to them all. Unfortunately the slightly more boring ones are those little bits of text that are placed on your computer's hard drive or inter-web connected device when you visit certain websites. Cookies (in addition to a crazily high calorie count) hold information a site may need to make a visitor's experience that little bit more ‘personal’. Cookies may also be used to make sure no-one is doing anything they shouldn’t, to gather a few web stats, and to get a better idea of how people move around a site.

You are the master of your cookie destiny and have full control. You can refuse the use of cookies by selecting the appropriate settings on your browser. But here’s the scary bit… by not accepting or deleting the use of cookies, you may affect your website experience. By doing this it may get really dull and boring and not do what it’s meant to do. Unfortunately you won’t be able to take full advantage of all features on this site and you won’t be able to blame your internet connection. Most browsers will tell you how to stop accepting new cookies, how to be notified when you receive a new cookie, and how to turn off existing ones. If you’re sh*tting it and your worlds ending then go and have a nosey in the help section of your browser. 

Google Analytics

We use it, just like most other people. I’m sure you’d be slightly worried if we weren’t tracking you and seeing what you’re up to. Google Analytics uses clever techy stuff (like mmmm.. cookies) to help us learn more about what you get up to (and don’t) on our website. The info generated by the cookie about your use of our site (such as your IP address, the URL visited, the date and time the page was viewed etc etc) will be transmitted and stored by Google on servers somewhere. Probably the US but frankly, we don’t know for sure. You can rest assured they’ll have the best servers on the planet and your nuggets of data will be stored safely with everyone else’s. Google will then use this information to monitor your use our site. It’ll compile reports on activity for website operators and provide other services related to website activity and internet usage. Rumour has it that Google may transfer this information to third parties when ‘the law’ tells them they have to, or likewise if a third parties processes information on Google's behalf. For more info on Google's privacy policy when it comes to Google Analytics, have a nosey at You can always opt out of Google Analytics by visiting

What we do with your personals

We may use the juicy info you give us to make the most of the relationship we have with you and help you ‘mean more’. We might use it for other stuff too, such as…

  • process, evaluate and respond to your requests and inquiries;
  • verify you are who you say you are and to ensure security for the other purposes listed here;
  • operate, evaluate and improve our business (including developing new services; managing our communications; learning about our visitors, taking a closer look at our services and website; and facilitating the functionality of our website… to name a few);
  • process job applications;
  • analyse some data;
  • lay down the law of our Terms of Use
  • comply with any legal requirements, industry standards and our policies

We may use personal information for other additional purposes. But if we tell you what they are now that would ruin the surprise (just kidding – we’ll pop-up a big sign post that tells you).

We’re the caring sharing types… but not all the time

We won’t sell or disclose any personal information we collect about you, except as described here or explained to you at the point where we take it.

We may share the info you provide to us (via this site) with service providers we have an on going partnership with to perform services on our behalf. These services could be hosting or operating this site, carrying out your requests, responding to your inquiries, and taking a looksie at data. We require all our service partners (by contract )to make sure they look after the privacy and security of personal information they process on our behalf. We got them to cross their hearts and swear on their children’s, hamsters, cousins, uncles, rabbits life. It’s THAT important.

We may have to share some info about you if the law tells us to. This could be to law enforcement authorities or other government officials. They might need to send Jack Baur in to protect or defend our legal rights. If they do, he’ll need it in order to investigate, prevent or take action regarding illegal activities, suspected fraud, or violations for our Terms and conditions for using this Site or other applicable policies. Jacks mean. Don’t upset Jack… he’ll set his daughter on you.

Finally, we also reserve the right to transfer personal info we have about you in the event that we sell or transfer all or a portion of our business assets. We’re not planning anything just yet though so don’t worry. Your inside leg measurements are safe for now.

Data (to me – to you) transfer

We ‘may’ transfer personal information we collect on this website to other countries other than here in the UK where it was originally collected. Those countries may not have the same data protection laws as your country of residence. By hitting that submit button, you consent to this transfer. When we transfer your personal information to other countries, we will protect it as described in this Privacy Notice. Don’t worry, you’re in safe hands. We’ll look after it.

The door men

The security of information is mega-important to us, and we are committed to using reasonable measures to protect any of your personal info we collect. However, the Internet is a vast an open space with lots of nasties out there, so as much as we wish we could, we cannot guarantee that any chit-chat between you and us or the information stored on this site is 100% secure.

Links to Other Websites

Every now and then we might link you off to another site. Those sites will have their own privacy policy so we’d recommend you go and check their’s out, just in case there’s anything that gives you the wobblies when you get there. We’d love to suggest we can protect you from afar, but alas… although we’re good.. we’re not ‘that’ good.

(Not) doing it for the kids

Sorry about this, but our site isn’t really intended for kids (unless we’ve decided to put a fun game up for Christmas or something, then it’s open season!). With that in mind, we don’t knowingly try and gather personal data from or communicate with children under the age of 13. If you become aware that your child, any child you look after, or a person that isn’t able to give their own consent has provided us with information without a parent or guardian's “yes it’s OK to do it”, please give us a shout.

As ‘Our Graham’ used to say… “the decision is yours!”

If you decide that for whatever reason we’re starting to get on your nerves, you can tell us to sod off at any time. We’ll stop sending you marketing communications by email, all you have to do is click on the unsubscribe link within the marketing emails you receive from us or by dropping us a line at the email below. Our phones work too by the way, so whatever works best for you.

If you’ve shared your personals with us then you can request they be updated, modified or deleted. All you have to do is drop us a line here:

Every now and then

Email communication is great, but sometimes you can't beat a good old 'chin wag on the blower'.

So we can listen back, check on our communications and improve the way we do things (as well as hear how ridiculous we sound when we're putting on our posh telephone voices), every now and then we'll record a telephone conversation we have with you. Just so you know.

Just say… errrm… ‘yes!’

By ‘doing your thang’ on our site, you consent to us doing what we will with your personals, as described here in this Privacy Notice.

Say hello

If you have any questions about us or this here Privacy Policy, use the email above, give us a call or get the ‘quill and ink’ out and write to us retro styley.

The Escape
The Old Farmhouse
Hatch Warren Farm
Hatch Warren Lane
RG22 4RA

We might change this every now and then…

… but we’ll always add a date at the bottom to let you know when we did it. Feel free to pop back from time to time to check it still floats your boat.

This Privacy thingy was last updated on: 10 December, 2014